How to Choose the Best Wedding Photographer: A Guide Beyond the Instagram Highlights

If you’re wondering how to choose the best wedding photographer, you’re not alone – it’s one of the most important decisions you’ll make while planning your wedding.

After photographing more than 300 weddings over the last 13 years, I’ve learned that choosing the right wedding photographer has very little to do with who has the fanciest camera or the trendiest viral Instagram reel. It’s about choosing the person who will move with you through one of the most meaningful, emotional, unpredictable days of your life – and who can hold that experience with calm, intuition, experience and intention.

Your photographer is with you all day.
You deserve someone who feels like an anchor, not someone you have to manage.

This guide will walk you through what actually matters when you’re learning how to choose the best wedding photographer – the things most couples overlook, but that make the biggest difference in your final images and your experience.

Emotional Attunement: The Most Underrated “Skill” in Wedding Photography

A great wedding photographer isn’t just a technician – they’re emotionally attuned. They can read a room, sense when you need support, when you need space, when you’re overwhelmed, when your family is stressing you out, and when you’re having a moment that needs to be protected and photographed quietly.

Your photographer should be able to:

• Bring calm into chaos
• Hold space for you when nerves hit
  
• Lead confidently when timelines get tight
  
• Support you emotionally without ever overshadowing you

This is the part of photography that’s invisible, but it shapes every moment of your day – and you feel it in your photos.

Experience Matters More Than You Think When Learning How to Choose the Best Wedding Photographer

Weddings are unpredictable. Experience is what keeps everything steady when things go sideways – and things will go sideways at some point.

A few examples from my own career:

The day I got pinned by a car on the way to a wedding

Yes, really. I was putting air in my tires before hopping on the highway, a driver made a mistake, and suddenly I was pinned between my car and theirs. Police, ambulance – the whole thing. I didn’t die (although you could say I was close). Nothing was broken, so once they cleared me, I still went to the wedding. I arrived 1.5 hours late (with constant updates to the couple), photographed the entire day, and checked myself into the hospital at 1 AM. By the time I got home at 8:30AM, I had been up for 24 hours. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. 

I’m sure they still talk about that.

Families who mean well… but don’t help

I’ve stepped in countless times to manage tricky family dynamics, organize group photos when no one listens, and help couples navigate emotional overload. Stepping into a family dynamic that is not yours can be intimidating, unless you’ve got the experience to handle it in an attuned and professional way. 

Weather chaos

Rain, snow, wind, heatwaves – experience means having versatile solutions, not fear. Your photographer should know how to adjust instantly – from outdoor portraits to indoor alternatives during a downpour, or how to move quickly during winter weddings when the cold becomes too much.

The tornado-warning wedding

The sky turned dark, the ceremony was pushed back an hour and everyone was panicking. They went from moving the ceremony from the courtyard, to reorganizing everything and moving it inside – to then moving it back outside to the courtyard once the warning had passed. I stayed calm, reorganized the photo plan, and made sure the couple actually enjoyed their day. The photos turned out stunning – you’d never know the chaos behind the scenes.

This is why experience matters.
A photographer who shoots weddings “on the side” or only a few times a year simply hasn’t lived through enough wedding days to instinctively know how to handle them.

Consistency Over Aesthetic Trends

A great photographer isn’t defined by one aesthetic.

They adapt to the moment.

My approach shifts throughout the day, because weddings are layered:

• Editorial/prompted for couples portraits
  
• Documentary for candid moments
  
• Wholesome and warm during speeches
  
• Traditional when needed for family
  
• Timeless throughout
  

Your photographer should understand how to move between these modes seamlessly, without forcing everything into one trendy style that may feel outdated in a few years.

Trends come and go. I’ve seen it, and lived it as a photographer.
The last thing I want is for your memories to feel dated in 10 years.

Professionalism Isn’t About a Viral Reel – It’s About Infrastructure

Here’s where the gentle spice comes in.

Many new photographers charge less because:

• It’s a side gig
  
• They already have full-time income elsewhere
  
• They want practice
  
• They haven’t built the infrastructure a full-time professional needs
  

There is nothing wrong with that – everyone starts somewhere.

But couples often don’t realize what they’re trading off:

• Years of intangible experience
• Assertive direction when needed
• Emotional support
• Crisis management
• Clear timelines
• Backup gear (and backup cards, and backup hard drives)
  
• Contracts that protect you
  
• Full gallery consistency
  

I can’t tell you how many couples have come back to me saying:

“We chose someone cheaper … and we regret it.”

“We regretted not hiring you.”

“My friend recommended you – they used someone else for their wedding and they wish they went with you”

Usually the complaints sound like this:

• “They didn’t pose us at all.”
  
• “They weren’t assertive enough and family photos were chaos.”
  
• “The editing was mediocre.”
  
• “They didn’t get important moments.”

Price reflects more than hours.
It reflects the entire foundation behind the scenes.

If someone chooses based solely on price or a $500 difference even after a full consultation, they’re simply not my client – and that’s okay.

Ask the Right Questions (These Reveal Everything)

If you want to know whether someone is the best photographer for you, ask:

1. How long have you been photographing weddings?
2. Is this your full-time career or a side job?
3. Why wedding photography? What keeps you passionate about it?
4. What outcome do you want for your couples?
5. How do you handle stressful or emotional moments on a wedding day?

It’s easy to write a nice blog post that answer these questions.
It’s harder to answer them on the spot unless your answers are lived, not written.

Personality: The Real Deciding Factor

You are literally spending the entire day with your photographer.
You want someone who:

• Feels safe
  
• Feels grounding
  
• Makes you laugh
  
• Makes you feel confident
  
• Respects your space
  
• Understands your emotional rhythm
  
• Can anticipate what matters to you

This matters more than anything else.

If you can imagine your photographer fitting into your circle, even just for one day, that’s a green flag.

Final Thoughts: Choose the Person Who Feels Like an Anchor

The best wedding photographer is the one who brings skill, artistry, emotional intelligence, and grounded leadership into your day – someone who can navigate chaos with calm, handle unpredictable moments with experience, and capture your story with intention.

Trends will fade.
Equipment will change.
But the feeling someone brings into your wedding day – and the way they honour your memories – lasts.

If you’d like to talk more about what matters most to you, I’m always here to help couples make the choice that feels right for them.

If you’d like to view more informational posts check this one out on my Top 10 Tips for the Perfect Engagement Session!